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How To Make Eye Contact

Making eye contact can be a great challenge for shy and socially anxious people

However, not making eye contact is perceived as social inadequacy and creates a vicious cycle of self-defeating thinking

Here are some tips to help you overcome this problem:

1)try looking at the bridge of the nose in between the person's eyes

2)You can also look into someone's eyebrows, which gives the illusion of staring into their eyes

3)Keep working at it. It may take you time to feel more comfortable, don't get discouraged

4)As time passes, you'll notice that you've actually beaten a bit of that shyness - Think of it as a motivation to keep on!

5)Take baby steps - build up your confidence in small increments - take the time to notice your progress

6) Another quirky technique that might help is to imagine that you have a second set of eyes right above your first and imagine looking at other people with those - it sounds atrange but it's been known to work for some people

7) Having a smile on your face also helps with concealing your nervousness while in the process of gaining social confidence and learning to make comfortable eye contact. As they say 'fake it till you make it!'

8) As for any other change you want to make in yourself, write down a relevant positive affirmation, either on paper or on your computer (e.g. in your blog) - this becomes a form of self-hypnosis, a sort of 'message in a bottle' which is realized in your life, in time


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Saturday, January 2, 2016

Today I made some small progress. I was at CVS and the employee (admittedly a very non-threatening minute Asian young lady) asked me if I needed help finding something and although normally I would have recoiled, today I kinda looked at her, made eye contact to a certain extent and said "No, thank you". The contact was too brief for me to assess the effect it had on her, whether or not it made her uncomfortable or not etc.
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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Today I made some small progress. I made brief eye contact with the cashier at the coffee shop. It was too brief to tell what effect it had on the cashier (a young woman). She may have been slightly unsettled by my gaze but I'm not sure. Anyway, it was a small victory I think.
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Monday, December 28, 2015

I wanted to make eye contact with the server at dunkin donuts today. I intended to do that on my way there. I have been experimenting with herbal stress-relief tablets and thought it might be the right moment. I didn't do it. I thought it might not go well that I might look at her the wrong way. It's happened to me in the past.
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